| (2003-09-04) Rut This morning, I was diagnosed with malaria. Yeah. Then after another five blood slides, I was told that I do not, in fact, have malaria. Phew. But at least it would have been an answer to why I've been feeling so horrible. More fever last night, shakes, back pain... something's not right, and it's ruined my entire trip so far. I've been so busy feeling sorry for myself, I haven't written anything in my journal about how nice it is here. It's all been, "am I doing the right thing?" "I miss Peter," "I feel horribly sick." But it's hard to be optimistic when you're feeling this rough. I go through stages of feeling very up to this challenge, and stages of wanting to hop on a plane and go back to Canada. It's uncomfortable here, and although it's what I thought I wanted, I'm not so sure anymore. Woe is me. I'm surrounded by the friendliest people I've ever run into, the weather is great, the ocean is so close by, and all I can think about are reasons to leave. I have to get out of this rut. |